Toos, not tats

‘Toos’, Not Tats

..Though the world calls them "tats",
I myself call them 'toos",
'The reason?' you ask;
It allows me to use
The very silliest of puns:
like I say: 'Two newt ooze'.
(To confuse 'em is fun!
...playing around with my news)

No, not 'salamanders who lust',
I just needed more ink,
but tease them I must,
-Lord knows what they think:
'Oh, that guy is a hoot'
or: 'He's a senile old man'
or: 'That silly galoot-
Now there's one on his hand!'

I've a sister who says
I need a woman to boss me
(ie. to 'give me her hand'
and then double-cross me)
but I don't need to plead,
and I don't mind derision,
and I don't really need
*no adult supervision.


*Don't be picky! The double negative is 'poetic license'.