Why I Am A Unitarian-Universalist

[On 12-12-2010, at the Unitarian-Universalist Congregation in Blacksburg Virginia, the writer was one of three members who spoke on our spiritual journey to Unitarian-Universalism. Below is a slightly modified version of that presentation]

Good Morning!

My name is George Lally.
I became a full-fledged UU for the first time in 2003 at Bell Street Chapel in Providence R.I.

That wasn't my first experience of being a UU, however. When I was about eight I attended a Unitarian Church in Brockton Massachusetts.

In fact, that was so long ago that I wasn't really a UU then, but a 'U'! as the merger with Universalists had not yet occurred!

In any case, my siblings and I attended for about one year.- I guess you'd say that that was my mother's ... 'Unitarian year'.
You see, mom had a history of ....'transient religious enthusiasms'. We Lally kids used to say that our mom, 'collected churches.' In fact, before we went to the Unitarian church, we had already been Catholic, Baptist, Congregationalist, and Lutheran!

Later on mom would try-on Reformed Judaism, return to Catholicism again, and then go on to Seventh Day Adventism and Mormonism.

I was in my forties when mom took instructions with the Seventh day Adventists. I remember going dutifully, with my teenage daughter, on a hot Summer day, to watch mom get the full-immersion baptism she so ardently craved.... and, I remember a certain discomfort after the service, looking into the smiling faces and accepting the out-thrust hands, of those Adventists, who congratulated me on "Sister Genevieve's" embrace of their faith.

Well, no surprise. Not long after achieving her cherished full-immersion baptism, mom cheerfully dumped the Seventh day Adventists for a ham sandwich. She said: "Do you think I'm going to go my whole life without meat?"

Through all this changing of churches, there were constants: Mother always read her Bible, said her prayers daily, and for sixty years -until she died- she was a Rosicrucian and a believer in reincarnation.

I know, I know! This is supposed to be about ME and why I am a UU. So, here goes:

I was in and out of the Catholic Church from adolescence until about age fifty. I sort of had one foot in, and one foot out.
That reflected an ambivalence stemming from an uneasy coexistence of skepticism and spiritual craving.

In the 1970's and 80's I was increasingly dismayed as the Church remained stubbornly frozen in old doctrines and dogma. Nevertheless, I continued, as a so-called "Cafeteria Catholic" -selecting the parts I liked, and ignoring the rest.

The parts that WERE most important to me were the focus on purifying or nourishing one's soul, the wisdom and inspiration in many scriptures, and the fellowship.

Church was also something I shared with my late fiancee Jo-Ann; but when she died in 1994, the balance of my ambivalence was somehow tilted, and I gave up on Catholicism.

After half a dozen years of drift I began looking for a new spiritual home. A UU friend encouraged me to visit both of the local Providence UU congregations, I tried the large, 500 member, First Unitarian -aka 'Big Uni'- which is near Brown Universty, but in the end I got 'hooked' on small, spirited, Bell Street Chapel on the other side of town, and, hooked on Unitarian-Universalism.

For the first time I felt un-ambivalent about religious worship. I felt that I could enter into a faith community without having to leave my knowledge and intelligence, at the door like a pair of shoes.

Attending religious services has always been to me a sort of weekly 'spiritual tune-up' -to use an awkward metaphor- or more awkward yet, a sort of 'spiritual carwash'.

I've always been aware of the gap between who I aspire to be, and who I am. It is humbling to take ones' own inventory, contemplate our shortcomings, and to consider the ways one falls short during the week.

For me, our U.U. services, our fellowship - our beloved community, as Chris calls it, strengthens me to be a better me.

Sometimes a beloved community can surpass expectations. I recall once some years ago in Providence, during a very good sermon, experiencing a communal feeling that was almost tangible. Afterwards, a friend said: 'Wasn't that a special service!' .
I agreed that it was indeed special but said I had no Unitarian-Universalist vocabulary to describe it. I remember saying that the closest thing I could find was my old Catholic vocabulary which didn't really fit... but...
The old Catholic words I had for that feeling of something larger than the sum of its parts, -that feeling of beloved community- were that it seemed like the Holy Spirit moved in us. Well, I hope I don't offend anyone with that reference.

Anyway, that sort of special communal feeling is, admittedly not a weekly occurrence but it still happens some of the time...like sometimes when we sing 'Spirit of Life'.

in any case, I am, 'stuck on Unitarian-Universalism'! ...and unlike my dear late mother, I plan to stick around as a UU for the duration! Thank you.

On Sarah Palin

she uses every opportunity to feed the resentment that is the perverse sustenance of her followers!
HER OWN sustenance is the publicity she garners, which enables her lucrative career ( of speechifying to the rubes).

'Tech Support'

When I have crashed
or got confused,
you were always there
to walk me through it,

and thanks to you I've learned some things,
like files, and fonts, and virus scan,
(I've learned from you there's nothing to it)

If I need to, I can clear my history now,
and when my disk is fragmented,
you taught me what to do to make it right,

So teach me, (please!) to operate this num lock,
I need it as I try, and try
to lock the numbness in, so I won't cry.

Alex died.

GEORGE'S EXCELLENT DIET ADVENTURE

Several people have asked me how I went about losing 55 lbs. in 11 months and I've been wanting to share my experience with them and others in a detailed way, in the hopes that it could be helpful.

When today I completed a 10 part diet questionaire for calories.com (which they may elect to publish on their website as a 'Success Story') It provided the chance to tell my story for anyone who is interested:


1. What made you decide to lose weight this time? Did you have an "Ah Ha!" moment?

An addiction to sweets -candy, pastry etc. has always been my downfall and my weight had gone up and down between 175 and 200 lbs. for 25 years.
After retiring however, my weight creeped steadily upwards month after month from 200 lbs to 222 lbs.
As my birthday loomed about 7 months in the future, I remembered my poor late, overweight, mother who, right up to her death at age 87, was always starting a new diet! Convinced that I was repeating her pattern, I said to myself, "It's now or never! Either LOSE the weight and KEEP IT OFF or accept that you will always be FAT.
From various diets over the years, I knew a lot about calories, diet strategies, healthy foods etc. but, before I began, I took advantage of the fact that I had an annual physical approaching.
I told my doctor of my intention to diet, told him of my addiction to sweets, told him
that I knew most of the health risks of obesity, and also that I 'know a lot about dieting'. That said, I asked for any 'wisdom' he could offer.
He suggested what he called 'a diabetic diet' - 1600 calories a day, lots of fresh fruits and vegetables and a sharp reduction in 'starches' - ie., pasta, potatoes, white, rice and and anything made from flour that was not whole grain eg. white bread and pastry!

2. What other "diets" (programs, products, plans, or services) had you tried in the past?

Conventional calorie reduction diets and Weight Watchers.

3. What changes did you make to your usual diet, activity, lifestyle, and attitude? What was the most important change?

I adhered to a 1600 calorie diet. I mostly eliminated starches and sugars. I became a fan of whole grains and an apostle of the glycemic index. I weigh and measure everything. I put a new 3x5 card in my pocket each day. On it I record each item I eat, how many calories it contains and the grams of protein and sodium. (this is actually very easy to do)
I now take a lunch bag with healthy snacks and diet soda or water every time I leave the house in order to avoid impulse snacking at convenience stores etc. As soon as I prepare my 'snack bag' I record the calories, protein etc on my 3x5 card and consider that that part of my daily caloric allowance has been 'spent.'
I also sharply ramped up my walking - from about 8-10 miles per week to 25-35 miles per week. I joined a gym and spend 30 minutes a day on a treadmill doing a moderate cardio routine. I began an abbreviated resistance training - about 15 minutes per day of mostly upper body exercises.
I established a line graph weight chart and began to weigh myself daily.
As I lost weight I got rid of my 'fat cloths' and replaced them with smaller sizes from local consignment stores. I even bought some jeans that were too tight and put them in my closet to motivate me!

4. How did Calorie Count help you to lose weight?

As the name indicates, it helped me to COUNT calories. I have also gotten good nutritional information, recipes and last but not least, encouragement from the success stories of others.

5. What was most challenging about losing weight?

Navigating a host of holiday gatherings soon after beginning in November,
then learning ways to compensate for periodic indulgences at church suppers, birthday celebrations, eating out etc.

6. How long did it take you to see results?

My diet changed SO RADICALLY that I saw results in the first week.
And I actually managed to lose 6 or 7 lbs during the Thanksgiving to New Years period while still enjoying the holidays!

7. When did you realize that you were a success?

When I got through the holidays still losing weight.

8. How do you prevent relapse?

In the past my relapses were related to:
a. my sugar addiction
b. boredom
My sugar addiction/craving has been dramatically curtailed by the 'diabetic' diet.
To avoid boredom, I have spent much time in acquiring an extensive list (and cupboard) of delicious healthy foods AND I have collected healthy food recipes from Calories.com and elsewhere.

9. How has your life changed now that you've lost weight?

I feel better physically.
I have more energy to do things.
I know, as I age, something could happen to my health and of course something eventually WILL -no one lives forever!- BUT, I feel that I'm no longer INVITING a heart attack, stroke, diabetes, cancer etc.
I feel attractive again ( I even got a couple of tattoos to celebrate and show off!)
I get clear feedback that women find me attractive.

10. What five tips do you have for other dieters?

1. Decide not to merely diet but to change your lifestyle. Tinker with your plan as you learn more, but stay with it.
2. Educate yourself about food values -calories, protein, sodium, fiber, whole grains, etc.
3. Weigh and Measure everything
4. Develop a program of regular exercise
5. develop your own list of many delicious and healthy foods and recipes.

THE NUMBERS:
Starting weight: 222 lbs. (11/1/09)
Current weight: 167 lbs (10/4/10)
Goal: 160 lbs.

Toos, not tats

‘Toos’, Not Tats

..Though the world calls them "tats",
I myself call them 'toos",
'The reason?' you ask;
It allows me to use
The very silliest of puns:
like I say: 'Two newt ooze'.
(To confuse 'em is fun!
...playing around with my news)

No, not 'salamanders who lust',
I just needed more ink,
but tease them I must,
-Lord knows what they think:
'Oh, that guy is a hoot'
or: 'He's a senile old man'
or: 'That silly galoot-
Now there's one on his hand!'

I've a sister who says
I need a woman to boss me
(ie. to 'give me her hand'
and then double-cross me)
but I don't need to plead,
and I don't mind derision,
and I don't really need
*no adult supervision.


*Don't be picky! The double negative is 'poetic license'.

'Enter March!'

Snow is receding,

dry dead grass now re-appears

-- Oh, for a green shoot!

http://www.peaceteam.net/bumper_stickers.php

Supremes?

[On The U.S. Supreme Court's 'Citizen's United' ruling]


'Twas not the court's vicissitude,

nor 'legal fashion's' changing mood,

and not the Constitution
malconstrued.

Five men,
to corporate power glued!

...and you and I?

thoroughly screwed,
dude.

-jorge999

'Encounter'

Above the early morning fog
I hear a single songbird peep,
though, but for me she'd be unheard,
-the mountain cove is still asleep,


Then, through a rhododendron bush
a tawny forest beauty glides,
and seeming not to move one leaf
to taste the dewy grass she spies


She turns, and bends her slender neck,
then stops. -I made a tiny sound-
her eyes and twitching ears she lifts,
our gazes meet and my heart pounds,


her glance is cooler than a mist,
and, though the stranger stands so near,
She waits, and lets me stare and stare,
(She seems to be devoid of fear)


but like a runway manequin
she waits to let me have my fill,
then turns, walks through a leafy screen,
and as before, the woods are still.
-jorge999

'Not To Worry'


It's just

a little

unrequited

crush,

that's all.


Like a tiny

muscle ache

(in one you

had forgotten

that you had)


It's not your fault,

of course,

That you are

'undelighted',

nor my fault

that a certain

Flame

Was not ignited.



There'll be

an awkwardness

at first,

(not bad)

and we'll be

sheepish,

and then

we'll laugh

(of course)


It hardly hurts

at all,

Don't worry dear,

The crush is

very small,

though


deepish.

--jorge999

'After Frost'

The soil is lovely, moist, and deep
Where sprightly earthworms plow,
the springtime rains upon us seep,
though we don't feel them now,

No need to laugh, no need to weep,
no feelings, sight, or sound,
and no more promises to keep
beneath the fertile ground.

-jorge999

'Bold Point'

No, this Bold Point is not
somebody's muscular assertion,

it's just a little neck of land,
--a spit-- a tiny foothold

of grass and sand
and lapping waves,

timidly, it pokes into
the River Providence,


Nighttime haunt
of who knows who,

it cringes, barely noticed,
on a busy city day,

buffeted by roar and whine
of highway traffic;

Magnet for the dreary plastic
residue of progress,

it's gentle beauty stained;

Somehow, it moves us,
now that we have stopped to look,

and so, we stoop

to gather up the pulltabs,
the hypodermic needles,

plastic no-deposit, no-returns,
the tampon applicators,

the diapers, papers, broken glass,
the deathless cups of styrofoam,

and all the random wrappers.

-jorge999

In 2003 on 'Dean Visibility Day' the writer was one of twenty Howard Dean supporters who spent the morning cleaning refuse from the beach at Bold Point Park East Providence Rhode Island.

'Will You Taste Some Irishness?'

In 2003 around St. Patricks Day I started a thread on Irish poetry (entitled 'Will You Taste Some Irishness?') on the New York Times sponsored (and now defunct) abuzzdotcom. In the days leading up to March 17th I posted, each day, a poem by a different Irish poet.

When the NYT shut down that site, I continued the thread annually for four more years on Able2knowdotcom.

This annual enterprise was my response to the 'dumbing down' of Ireland and things Irish. (To too many people in this country, the word 'Irish' produces an instant association to green beer, drunken partying, and cardboard leprechauns).

The fact of doing those annual threads introduced me to a host of wonderful poets that I had not previously read, and turned me from a casual reader of a few Irish poets into an full fledged enthusiast.

To inaugurate the thread, I began with a little introductory poem of my own (below):



'Will You Taste Some Irishness?'


Will you taste some Irishness
in lieu of greenish beer?
Please sip of Heaney, Yeats, and Joyce,
Their verses are served here.

Draughts of loss and sadness too,
The Irish poets bring;
And yet...the tears a beauty make,
--A strange transfiguring.

Will you taste some Irishness
in lieu of greenish beer?
Please savor sorrow, pain, and pride,
and ancient flavors queer;

A trace of moon, and mist, and sea,
A poteen brewed of tears;
Of turf, and toil, and hate, and strife,
And love of country fierce.

Clarke, and Durcan, Kavanagh,
Are offered here to you,
Fallon, Boland, Hartigan,
O'Grady, Montague.

Drink, long and deep of Irishness,
It seeks the deepest part,
It curls around your human-ness,
And seeps into your heart.

-jorge999

'Rueing You Blues'

(adult content)

"I am not myself at all",
I told myself with dread,
"I need to find myself some help
can't stay all day abed!"

my friend is a geologist
but he politely said:
"I can't tell you anything
'bout the rocks inside your head!"

an undertaker scolded me:
"come back when you are dead!"

Next stop was a urologist
(I had a 'peer review')
he told me that my instrument
was "just as good as new."

I consulted, a proctologist
who examined my rear view,
he said: "You're looking good down here
...I want a date with you!"

So I ran to a psychologist,
quote: "Nothing I can do! ...
..let's see, your next appointment
is on Monday, half past two."

At last I found a man of God,
I knew HE'D make me new,
but preacher told me I should pray,
and somehow I'm still blue.

No expertise can help me now,
I'm surfeited with rue,

I just need to see YOU babe,
what's wrong with me is you.

-jorge999

'Time and a Bottle'

alas, alack, and woe is me,

here's what's left at sixty-three:
insipid personality,

with good looks gone, and mind grown dimmer,

I sigh and wish that I were slimmer,

(and think too much of what's for dinner!)

But, it's not too late to live life risky

...I think I'll dissipate some whiskey.

-jorge999

'Waiting'

Although my heart just wants to play
and cook a poem every day,
This mirthless mind of mine refuses...


So while I'm rueing what the news is
--and learning all about the blueses--
I guess I must await them muses.

-jorge999

'Love Story'

the you
of you.

the woo
of you.

the rue
of you.

-jorge999

'Still Moving 2.'

Not academe.....no rustic hills,

an undistinguished place,

One wouldn't --couldn't-- say it thrills,

but it now shall be my space.

Some, perhaps, are disapproving,

some are unaware,

to Christiansburg, I shall be moving,

which is neither here nor there.*

-jorge999 12-12-07



*with apologies to Joseph Brodsky, who said the same about Kalamazoo

'Dark Spring'

April, cruel as ever,
left us sick and out of tune,
grown too old together,
we sat among our runes,
then foolish May brought her bouquets,
followed by jejune.

-jorge999

I Stole Something For You Today (for K.A.R.)

No one got hurt,

I used no gun or knife,

but I purloined these words:

You light up my life.

-jorge999

'Haiku for C.W.'

Oh, so much sadness!

your heart is still working though

it made this poem

-jorge999

'Readers Wanted: The Plan to Re-allocate Roles in Gather' ( a fable)

A website where I publish poems somehow developed
a self-appointed group of 'serious poets'.
One even lamented in a post that too many 'worthless'
poems were cluttering up the site.

The following poem was my reply:


Storm clouds are gathering
Have you heard the rumours?
We are surfeited with poets,
and starving for consumers,

While the unwashed multitudes,
immune to our delights,
pursue their vile distractions,
'We poets' write and write,

though faithfully we follow
our literary leaders,
(whose work is deep, and dark, and dense)
still, we haven't any readers,

The problem simply stated friends
(I can't be too emphatic)
is just a little numbers game,
It's coldly arithmetic,

'Eureka!' we have it!
shout our Gather poet-leaders:
'We simply need to RE-ASSIGN
BAD POETS INTO READERS!'

So, bad poets of gather,
Please show us your courage,
Your KNOW your poems are blather,
You KNOW they're boring porridge!

Please accept your new status,
acknowledge your betters,
and render due homage
To the TRUE men* of letters.

So now you've heard the plan,
Which I heartily endorse.
[I know they'll let ME stay a poet,
They like MY stuff... of course!]

What's that? What's that?!!
'Credentialing' you say?
err... mmm... I know I have it here somewhere
...my mail-order MFA

-jorge999



* and women

'Sublimation'

I get some

solace

dear,

from writing

my misfortunes

down

in verses.


All the little,

(and not so little)

slings and arrows

and

reverses.


Now,

isn't that

more elegant

than...

Curses?

-jorge999

'Poem for the Disappointed'

I posted an earlier variant of this poem shortly after
Cardinal Ratzinger was named as the new Pope:


Sequestered in An ancient hall,
-and praying- They await, 'The Call',
Churchly Princes -Princes all,

The throng awaits as in a thrall,
Teeming, swaying, on the mall,
and guessing,wondering, praying all,

But who is that one standing tall?
'Il Papa Novo' of them all!

( Some spirits rise, but others fall,
For some delirium, others gall )

O take me to the Wailing Wall....

The Holy Spirit dropped the ball.

-jorge999

'Snow On March 24, in Providence Rhode Island'

In 2005 we had about one hundred inches of snow in Providence, and, like other years, as we approached the end of March we crossed our fingers hoping it was over.

...and then...

Snow On March 24, in Providence Rhode Island

Whatever You pour Lord,
We always drain our cup,
And we soulfully vow
to just, 'offer it up',

Plague and pestilence,
Quake, hurricane,
You've sent our way Lord,
We didn't complain,

We accepted our pennance,
We shouldered our pain
and willingly suffered
again and again,

Though Your Way is inscrutable,
We know that You know best,
We don't try to understand,
We just endure each test,

But on March twenty-fourth?
MORE white fluffy stuff?
Oh come on Lord,

Enough is enough!

-jorge999

'small hell'

(for Amy, a waitress)


diners coast to coast

lonely men drinking coffee

and thirsting for smiles

-jorge999

'Mensaje en el Banco'

'Mensaje en el Banco'

down, heavy
with self-reproach,
I told you everything.

You forgave..
and asked for nothing.

finally emptied,
I rode high in the water,

that day, in a bank
I saw the sign:

'Sin Cargo'

-jorge999


[note: 'Sin Cargo' in Spanish means, 'no charge' or 'free']

'Insipid'

One evening as I sipped my tea
a fly fell in, unknown to me,

Careless and unknowing I
insipid fly

-jorge999

'Poem for David's Forty-fifth Birthday'

For your birthday I could ululate
(don't worry, I will spare you that)
Or on your virtues I might perorate
...even improvise a little scat.

To dance for you, an old soft shoe,
might show you that I think you're keen,
but afterwards my joints might rue,
a too strenuous assertion of esteem.

Now, as I peruse a favorite book,
and ponder on what I should do,
and put it in the bookcase: "Look!
I haven't one copy, but two!"

So here it is,

Aging, but full of wit and wisdom,
-and a little scratch or two,
Come to think of it, this book
is... well...an awful lot like you.

-jorge999

'Del Cielo'

(for Adela Genevieve, eight weeks early)

What fury in those flailing limbs!
What spirit bursting out to meet the world!
They thought that you were fragile when you came,
but oh what fire inside a three pound frame!


Meet your tired mother girl,
and learn from whence you came:
a line of strong women.
...No shrinking violets, victims, or plain Janes.


You got here just in time my little Del,
This sorry planet's sliding into Hell
and prays for sturdy hearts like
yours to stop its fall.


PS
Pretty, tiny, baby girly
will you always be so early?
-xo grandpa

-jorge999

'Sue Pine'

(For an old Girlfriend, Immune to my Charms)


Here's a line my long lost Sue,

to say that I still pine for you.

Still wishing that I had divined

how to get sweet Sue,

Sue Pine.

-jorge999

'Little Note' (for E.D.)

My modesty's

well earned

in a lifetime

free of acclaim,

When I croak

no admiring bog,

nobody

knows my name

-jorge999

'Poet Ease'

I don't know how to write with poet ease

-allusions, metaphors, and such as these-

I don't know how to obfuscate and tease,

with quotes from Latin, French, or Cantonese,



Though my kinfolk come from Ireland,

alas, I'm told my blarney's bleak and bland;

It seems that I was dealt a losing hand,

I'm doomed to write what plain folks understand.

-jorge999

'Pale Spring' (for GBL)

A squirrel scolds,

I do not start,

daffodils

don't shout out loud,

the surly trees

refuse their part,

leaves

clenched tight

in buds ungiving,

know no joy

in love

or living;

A colder,

paler Spring,

since you depart,


the air warms slowly,

and the heart.

-jorge999 (April 2005)

'Reply to a Young Friend's Unsolicited Critique'

I think that I will never be
A lit'ry poet such as thee,

Although I'm told my verses sing
(and dimples to some faces bring)

My poems can't be very good
-they're much too easily understood,

And yet they sing! (with quavering voice)
Sometimes they even sound like JOYCE!

Okay, okay! (confessing shames)
They're more like Kilmer, less like James,

And while I'm speaking of confessin'
...I didn't like your latest lesson,

My friend if I live long enough
I hope to grow, write better stuff,

And you, my bright precocious pup
May teach me more...... when you grow up.

-jorge999

'The Love Song of Kickycan' (adult poem)

I'm Kickycan the lady's man

And you must surely know it,

Beneath this coat's what girls love most,

And I'm dying dear to show it,

My trenchcoat treasure's hid away,

Till just the perfect moment,

When you behold... and then bestow

Your most admiring comment,

I'm Kickycan the lady's man,

"My big best friend" I call it,

Come! touch it with your pretty hand,

It's oh so big...

...my wallet.

-jorge999

'Wee Poem'

Wee Poem

A gem of a Gemini
A gem of a gem.....
....and I

-jorge999

'January 11, 2006' (for RC)

Alas, it's true, no thing will last,
'Who's Paul McCartney?' (the young thing asks)

Where went the bright and curious lad?
The loving son? The brand new dad?

You're paying dues and taking licks,
and.... 'Omigod, two thousand six!'

You feel flushed? -- it's global warming,
Gone, gone, gone, America's morning,

Colonoscopies apall,
...fibre, fats, cholesterol,

On camera an aging Biden
(Foreheads wax and bodies widen)

Johnny Damon comes and goes,
Mother Earth's rotation slows,

Resolution's just a pose,
While spirit flags, and passion's froze,

Oh woe! the race is nearly run,
and Winter clouds block out the sun,

The world he knew is quite undone...

Raymond Cooney's Fifty-one!

-jorge999

'A Warning to My One Year Old Grandaughter'

Prepare yourself for earnest lads

who'd woo you with their words of yearning,

for fervent swains --just like their dads--

who will declare their hearts are burning,

prepare for suitors bold and shy,

who every ruse and ploy will try,

get ready dear, for love-sick guys,

who'll stir the air with their deep sighs

--no surprise,


my dear you have your mother's eyes.

--jorge999 (August 2007)

'Mousely Science'

"Researchers at the University of Calgary said in July 2007, that female mice in their study were not only sexually aroused by whiffs of male mouse pheromones but that the scent apparently made the females' brains grow larger. [New Scientist, 7-2-07]"


As one whose love of learning is sincere,
( oh yes, 'tis Science that I most revere!)

how marvelous -- and edifying, truth to tell--
to learn both love-sick male and female mice do swell

--albeit in their different mousey regions.

...Now, on behalf of untold curious legions

there is a nagging question I must ask you:
Are gay MALE mice's BRAINS tumescing too?

...as they sniff pheromones from mousey dudes
and their ... err... tiny nether places ...protrude?

This is a question that cries out for study:
"The Physiology of Mousely Buddies"

Oh, I can see it now! Some proud biologist is telling
gathered press about gay mice and BIPOLAR swelling!

-jorge999

NOTE: When I saw the above news clip on another site
my imagination got the best of me. -jorge

'Ode to Moderation'

Overindulge, my lads at your peril:

A firkin here, a firkin there...

and pretty soon

you’re over a barrel.

-jorge999

'For Your Birthday: Free Pass For a Midlife Crisis'

Birthdays come and birthdays go
but now you're FORTY-EIGHT you know,

Time to have your midlife crisis,
(second childhood is the nicest)

If you want to tint your hair,
or buy a sportscar, we won't care,

So what, your waistline is expanding!
family is ...understanding,

Think and do the most outrageous
and don't worry -- it won't faze us,

use this, your very own free pass
to go hog-wild, to drain your glass,

midlife crisis can be fun
(though when it's done, it must be done)

Oops! ...P.S. ...by the way,
this pass is valid for one day.

--jorge999

'At The Singles Bar'

At the risk of seeming rude,

I gazed at you

...and now protrude,

do you think we could collude?

... nude?

--jorge999

'Ode to An Almost Perfect Lady'

I think that I shall never see
A lady lovelier than thee,

A gorgeous eminence you are,
A goddess! ...yes ...an avatar!

Your words unfailingly inspire!
With love, you set our hearts afire,

In all of Earth's long history,
There never was one such as thee,

A scintillating, brilliant star!
A heroine --a SAINT! you are!

And your birthday, I must say
Should be declared a holiday,

So every year, with poem and prose
Your life and legend grows and grows,

One day your prophets will appear
And they'll declare for all to hear

*You walked on water, raised the dead,
and 'twill be scripture, all you said,

Your temples will be everywhere,
Your very name will be a prayer!

*PS
One teeny thing impedes this starting,
My dear, you MUST control your farting.

--jorge999