'Worst Poem'

A website where I often lurk
had a contest for 'worst poem',
the winner may accrue some perks,
and anyway, I'm right at home!
I did what anyone would do,
I did my best to do my worst,
now I inflict the thing on you
to prove I truly am ill-versed.

That was just for fun. My official entry is below:



'I Humbly Claim The Prize'

I surely have a suffering look,
I sigh and feel an awful lot,
I've read ( the covers of) so many books
that I perused but never bought,

I'm told I have a noble nose
as handsome poets often do,
My head is stuffed with un- bon mots
I'll put them in a poem for you,

I've saved so many foreign phrases
to wedge into my learned poems,
my erudition shocks, --amazes
my mom and dad and girls back home,

but empathy's my strongest suit,
I feel your pain, I really do,
(Do you think my eyes are cute?
Don't you like their shade of blue!)

so therfore: Veni, vidi vici!
Here I stand, I claim my prize!
also-rans should not feel bitchy
(I see it darling in your eyes)

I win! I win! I must insist,
one is blessed, many cursed,
too bad, the losers are all pissed,
I've done my best to do my worst,

I've justly earned your low esteem
--perhaps against your better wishes--
so give it up, declare me king.
Oh, what a fine, fine victory this is!


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